On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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