Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize