3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
