Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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