I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
