dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she pinky promised me she was 18
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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