By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
