He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize