not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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