I want you more than these girls want KFC
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
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I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.