I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.