Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.