Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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