I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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