I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
