I would go down on you faster than GM stock
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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