My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
