I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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