I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
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I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
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I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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