worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
