Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
