Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
