just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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