Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
