He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
