are you still at the devil's house?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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