so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
