Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
