Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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