I just cut my nipple shaving
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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