I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
