Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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