evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize