I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
