uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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