So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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