there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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