Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
