# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
