hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
