1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Michael Bay diarrhea
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
