Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize