Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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