i love accidental penises.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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