ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
