Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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