I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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