She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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