You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
