have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
