I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
