im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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