dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
