You really coming over, don't trick.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
