I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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