Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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