Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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