and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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