every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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