Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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