I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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